About

The Hell?

Pffft…well, what do you want to know?! I’m a freelance wine pro, working in the trade since ’04. Grape Slayin’ internationally, I travel the globe contributing to the growth, strength and unity of the trade I have worked in for half a lifetime. I specialise in wine tourism & emerging territories with an extra speshal pash for biodynamic wines & the individuals behind the labels. Southsea, where I fly my flag, has a crazy high concentration of madly inspiring independent businesses and artists. I became a part of this rad community on the South coast in 2019, got thirsty & so the Southsea Wine Siren brand was born.

So what is all this then?

Well,  back in the olden days before this nawty covid fella got lairy, a much needed natty lovers gang in Southsea was evolving & in it’s infancy. Grape Slayers were flocking to Southsea Wine Siren tasting events to satiate their natty appetites & learn more about raw wine with no additives or preservatives & made with minimal intervention. The real stuff, the raw stuff…the good stuff. The people of Southsea were seeking authenticity & integrity- they’re a smart bunch, all concerned with the planet and what they’re putting in their bodies & that… The people wanted wine that hadn’t been messed around with like the mainstream stuff…wine that fit their lifestyle, ethics & general open minded awesomeness.  But accessibility was cruely restricted (and so suddenly) by orders to lockdown and so, bereft of their new favourite habit, I began bespoke palate matching and supplying natural wine to meet the demands of my thirsty grape slayers. Like a boozy tinder genius or a natty pimp daddy. And so this very e-commerce platform was born…I’ll guide you on your natty adventure full ayahuasca guru style…from first toe dip to full on funk festmouth explosion. Maybe we’ll start a cult?

You are a Rockstar (but you probably knew that already)

By holding space for the Grape Slayers wine club & Raw Botties you’re supporting small producers, independent importers, natural farming & pure earth turning creativity…so your wine habit is basically a virtue. You’re a planet saving hero with impeccable taste. Well done, feel good about that & mouth the word legend to yourself tonight in the bathroom mirror. Maybe even a little wink because smart people are dead sexy.

How does this Grape Slayer thing work?

Feedback! The more you identify & communicate what you do and don’t like putting in your mouth, the better able I am to match your unique palate to the wine of your freaking dreams. It’s only me behind Raw Botties (cheeky!)…I know the palate of every single one of my Grape Slayers individually, they’re like unique snowflakes! I chose each of the producers repped on the platform because I love their story, their ethos, their individuality and most of all…their kick ass wines. If I love them, the chances are, you will too. Fresh bottle drop days are my fave; allocated & approved mega perve time, the bib goes on for ultimate drool fest safety precautions. I know how to throw a killer mouth party…get all up in this palate perfection!

If you’re up for a virtual tasting just drop me a line, I love banging on about why your wine tastes the way it does and, frankly, I need an excuse to wash my hair. #quarantine

So…da fuq is natural wine? 

Isn’t all wine natural? Nope. In Europe over 40 additives can be used in winemaking without legally having to appear on the label & there is potential for manipulation at every stage of the winemaking process. What you can end up with is a mummified, generic, bulked out, chemical liquid with no personality- unrecognisable from the brilliant, bright grape juice it was. It ain’t good for the environment & it ain’t good for your health. The macdonalds of wine- how do you think they are able to sell it so cheap & same-y when precious grape harvests are only once a year & each as individual as a fingerprint?

Natural wine means minimal intervention. It is unprocessed: better for you, better for the planet. Natural wine makers are punk ass creatives, breaking all the ‘rules’ and spearheading a return to land caring, holistic, mindful farming. The wines are truly the purest representation of varietal, terroir & winemaker; proper authentic stuff. It’s all about honouring the transformation. Natural wine producers have torn the rule book up & eaten it- full NFG attitude these guys are basically wine wizards repping hard graft, passion & love for the land.

How to play with natty

Natural wines are a bit like craft beer…ranging from completely off the wall, funky, triggering wild childs to more conventional tastes & textures. The most important thing to remember is that these wines are ALIVE and constantly evolving, not like your mummified supermarket stuff. If your first sip makes your eyes bulge try chilling or raising the serving temperature. Let it catch some air for a minute to breathe or maybe come back to it tomorrow when you’re in a different mood. Play with pairing different foods to alter the texture and accentuate different flavours…there are no rules, it’s all about what turns YOU on. You are unique, and so are these wines…it doesn’t take much to fall into a lusty yearning to explore them more…! If you’re thirsty as hell for pure mouth escapism in a bottle, natural wine that can transport you straight to the land where thy were grown in one sip, no delorian needed.